so i was talking to a friend the other day blablabla and she asked, "oh where's your dad?"
i wished i could just disappear into thin air at that very moment.

but i didn't. or more like i couldn't. lol.

so instead of avoiding that question, i just said oh he passed away. i almost thought i'm okay with saying it out, i thought i'm good with it, i thought i'm getting better at it. but nah. tears were just filling up and overflowing. i just couldn't contain it. damn.

and for someone to realize that i have not walk out from it, it's just....... especially when i dont wanna admit it, and doing the best that i can to avoid having conversation(s) or talk about my dad even to mum and sisters........... why am i like this