never really liked talking/celebrating christmas ever since dad passed on cause it always brings me back to the last christmas that we spent together, that we actually invited close friends over, that we actually had stuffed turkey (that's actually so bad), that we went all the way to get it.

everything i do, every event, every festive-ish season just reminds me of dad so much. and i'm very scared that one day i'll have a very blur memory of him.

and i just can't stop thinking how different things would be rn if he's still here